The best-selling author has included the unique UMC congregation in her books. Everything changed when a lay leader turned out to be a registered sex offender.
As a UMC pastor, I am beyond horrified that this happened and am so disappointed at all levels of leadership in the Indiana Conference. In the previous church I pastored, we partnered with a ministry that matches felons with churches for reentry support. We were matched with an RSO - an adult who committed the offense as a young teenager. Before we said yes to the relationship, we consulted with the families in the congregation. We consulted with our police department and the parole officer. We consulted with the school across the street. We consulted with the DS. We consulted with the conference chancellor (lawyer). We consulted with our insurance company. We did extensive research. We wrote extensive policies just for that individual with all kinds of checks and balances. We built a whole team of people to support this individual while also making sure our Safe Sanctuary policy and state law was being followed at all times. And we were always clear that our supportive relationship with this individual did not guarantee access to all levels of the church.
I am so sorry that this happened, Shannan. Thank you for the integrity you demonstrated. The Church needs it...it just pains me that it came at such a high cost to you and your family.
As another UMC pastor, I affirm that this is the way it's done. And the Safe Sancturaries policy is comprehensive and must be applied in order to protect our precious children. I'm shocked that the chuch and leadership didn't follow through.
“That’s something I had to apologize to my kids for and say clearly, “Your body knows how to protect you a lot of the time.” Over time, what’s weird or “creepy” can start to feel normal. And that is a grooming process.”
Shannen, thank you for sharing your story. I hope against all hope that people will see this have the courage to speak out when this arises in their own community.
I definitely struggle with this with my own kids--there is a fine line from learning to accept people different than you, especially based on appearance/behaviors. And recognizing intuition that shows you might be in danger. Grateful for this warning.
I am beyond furious!! My husband and I volunteer with a ministry for felons. We do not take sex offenders but even with that, our church does not allow participation in children or youth ministries. Just common sense. Anyone who has worked with criminal justice knows so many in and outs of what gets prosecuted versus charged, can have sex charges that state does not prosecute for a variety of reasons.
This echos the evangelical practice of reinstating pastors who are abusive, committed adultery, harassment etc.
I am so sorry but really angry your family went through this.
Gods arc of justice seems so da** slow but it is inevitable. I hear “well done my faithful servants.”
I read Shannan's post and was just kicked in the gut. I could tell it was bad just from her SM grief, but wow. And this interview is even more detail about the steps they took to use the church structures and existing policies to no avail. So heartbreaking! This, right here, is why the institution of church is shrinking. God will use the church to advance his kingdom so long as the institution actually does that. But the institution is infected with putrid decay and is producing bad fruit. So when people wring their hands over shrinking churches I have to say, maybe God is discarding this institution. Cutting off the infected branches and throwing them into the fire. God's Kingdom is not shrinking. It's doing just fine. But the church? Well...
Totally agree with your assessment of declining church. Younger generations see greater lives outside the church worth modeling. The unholy marriage of the evangelical churches to power has destroyed their witness to a suffering world. The institutions of mainline denominations are in desperation of life support.
So where are we? Believers who are called to pick up our cross, follow Jesus, heal the sick, give sight the blind, raise the dead? Where do we worship? where do receive the Lords supper, communal care?
Well, I love that the Martins have a group of believers to be with. I think those kinds of groups are how the followers of Jesus can be in Christian community. I have been a part of house churches that did this for folks who had all had to leave their various churches. It was a season for us, but we were able to be that community of faith for each other. And while it isn't ideal, I've also been a part of a digital version of this (with Good Shepherd New York), so it isn't even limited by geography necessarily. (We live in CA, other members were spread out across the US and we even had a couple living in Thailand) "Wherever two or more are gathered..." it's not the same, but it can be good.
Shannon, thanks for speaking so boldly and transparently about this horrific experience. Sending lots of love to you. There are few things that hurt like this kind of betrayal. You're a woman of valour. And thanks, Katelyn, for keeping the light on this.
As a UMC pastor, I can say the actions of this church and the leadership does NOT follow UMC polity. This church, their leaders, the DS and the bishop all failed this family.
Sadly, this is all too common. 2nd chances, dealing with things in-house, for the sake of the kingdom...I was labeled a "troublemaker" because I would not "repent" in reporting abuse (at the hand of my husband/pastor). I love that you are leaning into the intuition and validating your children. I feel your pain and admire the work you are doing.
One wonders if this person would’ve been put on staff as the Church accountant if he had been convicted of embezzling thousands from another church across state lines.
Kevin, on this particular question & it is a good one.about 12 years ago, the Credit Union I worked for hired a woman in our training department who had been approved by our bonding company. She had no criminal records involving financial crimes, so she was hired. But local newspapers carried stories of her, and her husband’s arrest for animal cruelty in the killing & disposal of a puppy. Employees routinely googled new hires & dang if they didn’t find the stories. Employees didn’t come to me, they went to HR, HR took a view that the “crime” had nothing to do with financial risk. Oh boy, that incensed the complainers. So the anonymous letters started arriving at the homes of the CEO and the Board members. HR retained the lady.
At my first Bank Security job, I routinely checked-out names of new hires against Virginia and Maryland’s criminal and civil open-to-the-public databases. People became offended when I shared public information, discreetly. They believed I had intruded. They also told me that only financial crimes should matter for a bank hire. I responded that we may not want sex offenders, they countered that it poses no risk to our funds. I responded that our greatest assets were our people - more than money - and reminded them of my robbery training that taught, give them the money, your safety is # 1.
So, yes, people can compartmentalize crime and civil cases in ways I found as odd.
When I was on the equivalent of HR at a UMC (Staff Parish Relations) I would check Virginia & Maryland Criminal & Civil histories & share the findings, without comment, with the Committee.More than half didn’t want to know & believed my searches of Public records had crossed a line they could not define…since the info was Public.
Having worked as a Fraud Investigator for 3 Telecoms and 3 Financial Institutions I can affirm that from 2001-today these Corporations place insurance bonds on all hires. That means that the identifiers given at hire are all checked for criminal history & crimes of “moral turpitude” [embezzlement, theft, lying, etc.] If something turns up, they are declared un-bondable & won’t be hired. About 15 years ago, a lady was convicted & fired for embezzlement at a large credit Union. She applied & was cleared at our Credit Union by using her husband’s family name. She had been fired & arrested under her maiden name. She embezzled $172,000., a long story how I caught her. Our bonding company who authorized our hiring her, reimbursed us, minus the $10k deductible. I don’t know whether Churches bond their employees, but I know of large losses from big churches from people who collected the offering.
Thank you for sharing this difficult journey. We left a non-denominational group because of similar circumstances and leadership that just told us to “trust your leadership “. We have moved from the area and are pretty shy about church. Seeking God’s face about community. I celebrate your courage to speak up and your clinging to God through this. Blessings.
Thank you, Katelyn & Shannan, for this conversation.
Shannan, it’s your March post that gave me the bravery to publicly share my story of spiritual abuse a few weeks later. It’s beyond devastating what you’ve had to endure—the grief, humiliation, loss, all of it. I’m so sorry. I keep thinking about how your kids already had discerning thoughts/experiences about this person and how our bodies can know something just isn’t right. I’ve described this like a smoke alarm going off, begging us to pay attention. But it can be so complicated and messy and confusing till the facts begin to reveal themselves. And even then, some will choose to ignore the truth and protect the ones in power. Crushing. I’m so grateful for your commitment to what is right, though it has cost you and your family much heartache. Thank you again. 🥹
Thanks for fighting this fight! Once as a former children’s minister I had to tell my pastor that I received a call from a nearby church alerting us to a family that left that church and was attending ours. The concern was with the high school aged son. Allegations of abuse occurred while this person was babysitting church families in their homes- no legal actions had occurred but this was a big red flag.
My pastor refused to believe me. He had become friends with the parents. I was shocked but held my ground. I said the youth would never work with kids in our church and made him agree to that much.
Do these church leaders who ignore snd gaslight you not have daughters? Are they ignorant of the temptation of sexual abuse when allowing an abuser access to kids?
Good for you to stand your ground. These leaders are hurting the message of the Gospel y putting kids in harms way AND by their secrecy.
I feel sick this person was being protected and his crimes hidden by a church administration and board of men and women who should have been mature believers. To think they turned this around to make you sound like the “bad guys” bc you were trying to protect the vulnerable! I am so sorry you have been through so much - and I pray this person never harms anyone else.
Thank you. There was nothing wrong with your thinking or the chain-of-command-process you followed. As a former UMC member, now a Lay Leader of a planted GMC…& former Police Detective, anyone having doubts about a church “official” should always check the applicable sex-offender registries in all cities/states where the official has been known to have lived. 2nd chances apply to almost every form of Criminal, including ministry to people on death row. The distinction is sex offenders. Judges & Probation officers have been trained in the recidivist data for this category of offender, I have not. But I have read Judge’s comments at sentencing and when considering chemical castration. Clearly, the officials know how these disorders may only rarely be overcome.
From a broader perspective, when church “leadership” decides to dig in their heels on a matter, there will be a portion of the congregation who can no longer walk with them. That split, although very painful, is necessary.
It was with great compassion that I read about what you have experienced with the abusing pastor and the abusing environment that still allowes him to seek out further victims - like your daughter has experienced his extremely unpleasant abusive ways several times, not respecting her boundaries.
It must be a very difficult situation for you all. Especially when so many people in the church are covering things up, muddling up the truth, trying to manipulate with you and others.
As I see it, it is all about a consciousness that is out of sync with the inner truth, a consciousness virus you could call it, that distorts truth and makes people want to steal energy from others by abusing them. Influential people and others down the line. If somebody is not connected to their inner core, to their connection to their inner truth, they believe they have to steal from others.
My life has been heavily marked by sexual abuse and a SES course from Crimsoncircle
that I attended gave me great insight, clarity, relief and steps for action.
The churches, the military, sports, film industry and other big oranizations are places where sexual and other abuse thrives on many levels. The Me Too is about that.
Our consciousness at this time does not allow abuse around and within us anymore. We are done with it.
And if we want to abolish it, tell the truth, we meet many people who strongly oppose, manipulate and still want to play the old abuser games.
When I feel into what you are sharing, I choose my own clarity, choose it again and again, breathe with it and let it nourish me in my own gut feeling, my truth, my No More!, my sanity and my safety. I wish all the best to you!
As a UMC pastor, I am beyond horrified that this happened and am so disappointed at all levels of leadership in the Indiana Conference. In the previous church I pastored, we partnered with a ministry that matches felons with churches for reentry support. We were matched with an RSO - an adult who committed the offense as a young teenager. Before we said yes to the relationship, we consulted with the families in the congregation. We consulted with our police department and the parole officer. We consulted with the school across the street. We consulted with the DS. We consulted with the conference chancellor (lawyer). We consulted with our insurance company. We did extensive research. We wrote extensive policies just for that individual with all kinds of checks and balances. We built a whole team of people to support this individual while also making sure our Safe Sanctuary policy and state law was being followed at all times. And we were always clear that our supportive relationship with this individual did not guarantee access to all levels of the church.
I am so sorry that this happened, Shannan. Thank you for the integrity you demonstrated. The Church needs it...it just pains me that it came at such a high cost to you and your family.
Wow. This is how it's done. This is such a stark contrast to her story!
As another UMC pastor, I affirm that this is the way it's done. And the Safe Sancturaries policy is comprehensive and must be applied in order to protect our precious children. I'm shocked that the chuch and leadership didn't follow through.
“That’s something I had to apologize to my kids for and say clearly, “Your body knows how to protect you a lot of the time.” Over time, what’s weird or “creepy” can start to feel normal. And that is a grooming process.”
Shannen, thank you for sharing your story. I hope against all hope that people will see this have the courage to speak out when this arises in their own community.
💯 We gotta pay attention to our "creepy" sense. It is there for a reason.
I definitely struggle with this with my own kids--there is a fine line from learning to accept people different than you, especially based on appearance/behaviors. And recognizing intuition that shows you might be in danger. Grateful for this warning.
It’s such a tight rope walk, for sure!
I am beyond furious!! My husband and I volunteer with a ministry for felons. We do not take sex offenders but even with that, our church does not allow participation in children or youth ministries. Just common sense. Anyone who has worked with criminal justice knows so many in and outs of what gets prosecuted versus charged, can have sex charges that state does not prosecute for a variety of reasons.
This echos the evangelical practice of reinstating pastors who are abusive, committed adultery, harassment etc.
I am so sorry but really angry your family went through this.
Gods arc of justice seems so da** slow but it is inevitable. I hear “well done my faithful servants.”
I read Shannan's post and was just kicked in the gut. I could tell it was bad just from her SM grief, but wow. And this interview is even more detail about the steps they took to use the church structures and existing policies to no avail. So heartbreaking! This, right here, is why the institution of church is shrinking. God will use the church to advance his kingdom so long as the institution actually does that. But the institution is infected with putrid decay and is producing bad fruit. So when people wring their hands over shrinking churches I have to say, maybe God is discarding this institution. Cutting off the infected branches and throwing them into the fire. God's Kingdom is not shrinking. It's doing just fine. But the church? Well...
Totally agree with your assessment of declining church. Younger generations see greater lives outside the church worth modeling. The unholy marriage of the evangelical churches to power has destroyed their witness to a suffering world. The institutions of mainline denominations are in desperation of life support.
So where are we? Believers who are called to pick up our cross, follow Jesus, heal the sick, give sight the blind, raise the dead? Where do we worship? where do receive the Lords supper, communal care?
Well, I love that the Martins have a group of believers to be with. I think those kinds of groups are how the followers of Jesus can be in Christian community. I have been a part of house churches that did this for folks who had all had to leave their various churches. It was a season for us, but we were able to be that community of faith for each other. And while it isn't ideal, I've also been a part of a digital version of this (with Good Shepherd New York), so it isn't even limited by geography necessarily. (We live in CA, other members were spread out across the US and we even had a couple living in Thailand) "Wherever two or more are gathered..." it's not the same, but it can be good.
Shannon, thanks for speaking so boldly and transparently about this horrific experience. Sending lots of love to you. There are few things that hurt like this kind of betrayal. You're a woman of valour. And thanks, Katelyn, for keeping the light on this.
As a UMC pastor, I can say the actions of this church and the leadership does NOT follow UMC polity. This church, their leaders, the DS and the bishop all failed this family.
Sadly, this is all too common. 2nd chances, dealing with things in-house, for the sake of the kingdom...I was labeled a "troublemaker" because I would not "repent" in reporting abuse (at the hand of my husband/pastor). I love that you are leaning into the intuition and validating your children. I feel your pain and admire the work you are doing.
One wonders if this person would’ve been put on staff as the Church accountant if he had been convicted of embezzling thousands from another church across state lines.
Kevin, on this particular question & it is a good one.about 12 years ago, the Credit Union I worked for hired a woman in our training department who had been approved by our bonding company. She had no criminal records involving financial crimes, so she was hired. But local newspapers carried stories of her, and her husband’s arrest for animal cruelty in the killing & disposal of a puppy. Employees routinely googled new hires & dang if they didn’t find the stories. Employees didn’t come to me, they went to HR, HR took a view that the “crime” had nothing to do with financial risk. Oh boy, that incensed the complainers. So the anonymous letters started arriving at the homes of the CEO and the Board members. HR retained the lady.
At my first Bank Security job, I routinely checked-out names of new hires against Virginia and Maryland’s criminal and civil open-to-the-public databases. People became offended when I shared public information, discreetly. They believed I had intruded. They also told me that only financial crimes should matter for a bank hire. I responded that we may not want sex offenders, they countered that it poses no risk to our funds. I responded that our greatest assets were our people - more than money - and reminded them of my robbery training that taught, give them the money, your safety is # 1.
So, yes, people can compartmentalize crime and civil cases in ways I found as odd.
When I was on the equivalent of HR at a UMC (Staff Parish Relations) I would check Virginia & Maryland Criminal & Civil histories & share the findings, without comment, with the Committee.More than half didn’t want to know & believed my searches of Public records had crossed a line they could not define…since the info was Public.
That is interesting. Thank you for answering. The hiring process is too arduous, I suppose, to admit that one has to start again.
Having worked as a Fraud Investigator for 3 Telecoms and 3 Financial Institutions I can affirm that from 2001-today these Corporations place insurance bonds on all hires. That means that the identifiers given at hire are all checked for criminal history & crimes of “moral turpitude” [embezzlement, theft, lying, etc.] If something turns up, they are declared un-bondable & won’t be hired. About 15 years ago, a lady was convicted & fired for embezzlement at a large credit Union. She applied & was cleared at our Credit Union by using her husband’s family name. She had been fired & arrested under her maiden name. She embezzled $172,000., a long story how I caught her. Our bonding company who authorized our hiring her, reimbursed us, minus the $10k deductible. I don’t know whether Churches bond their employees, but I know of large losses from big churches from people who collected the offering.
Unfortunately I know of a church that went through that after their denomination sent the embezzler pastor to them.
Thank you for sharing this difficult journey. We left a non-denominational group because of similar circumstances and leadership that just told us to “trust your leadership “. We have moved from the area and are pretty shy about church. Seeking God’s face about community. I celebrate your courage to speak up and your clinging to God through this. Blessings.
Thank you, Katelyn & Shannan, for this conversation.
Shannan, it’s your March post that gave me the bravery to publicly share my story of spiritual abuse a few weeks later. It’s beyond devastating what you’ve had to endure—the grief, humiliation, loss, all of it. I’m so sorry. I keep thinking about how your kids already had discerning thoughts/experiences about this person and how our bodies can know something just isn’t right. I’ve described this like a smoke alarm going off, begging us to pay attention. But it can be so complicated and messy and confusing till the facts begin to reveal themselves. And even then, some will choose to ignore the truth and protect the ones in power. Crushing. I’m so grateful for your commitment to what is right, though it has cost you and your family much heartache. Thank you again. 🥹
I'm so sorry you had to endure this too. 😔
Thanks for fighting this fight! Once as a former children’s minister I had to tell my pastor that I received a call from a nearby church alerting us to a family that left that church and was attending ours. The concern was with the high school aged son. Allegations of abuse occurred while this person was babysitting church families in their homes- no legal actions had occurred but this was a big red flag.
My pastor refused to believe me. He had become friends with the parents. I was shocked but held my ground. I said the youth would never work with kids in our church and made him agree to that much.
Do these church leaders who ignore snd gaslight you not have daughters? Are they ignorant of the temptation of sexual abuse when allowing an abuser access to kids?
Good for you to stand your ground. These leaders are hurting the message of the Gospel y putting kids in harms way AND by their secrecy.
Not only daughters. Boys can be victimized as well. All institutions should be vigilant with the safety of their children/youth.
When Jesus said "Suffer the little children to come unto me" he didn't mean "Hey, let's give sex offenders access to little kids".
Far too many churches seem confused on that point.
I feel sick this person was being protected and his crimes hidden by a church administration and board of men and women who should have been mature believers. To think they turned this around to make you sound like the “bad guys” bc you were trying to protect the vulnerable! I am so sorry you have been through so much - and I pray this person never harms anyone else.
Thank you. There was nothing wrong with your thinking or the chain-of-command-process you followed. As a former UMC member, now a Lay Leader of a planted GMC…& former Police Detective, anyone having doubts about a church “official” should always check the applicable sex-offender registries in all cities/states where the official has been known to have lived. 2nd chances apply to almost every form of Criminal, including ministry to people on death row. The distinction is sex offenders. Judges & Probation officers have been trained in the recidivist data for this category of offender, I have not. But I have read Judge’s comments at sentencing and when considering chemical castration. Clearly, the officials know how these disorders may only rarely be overcome.
https://smart.ojp.gov/somapi/chapter-7-effectiveness-treatment-adult-sex-offenders
Reduction of recidivism of 5-8%, over 5 years…that leaves 92-95% repeaters.
Those are such sad numbers. Wow. 😔
From a broader perspective, when church “leadership” decides to dig in their heels on a matter, there will be a portion of the congregation who can no longer walk with them. That split, although very painful, is necessary.
It was with great compassion that I read about what you have experienced with the abusing pastor and the abusing environment that still allowes him to seek out further victims - like your daughter has experienced his extremely unpleasant abusive ways several times, not respecting her boundaries.
It must be a very difficult situation for you all. Especially when so many people in the church are covering things up, muddling up the truth, trying to manipulate with you and others.
As I see it, it is all about a consciousness that is out of sync with the inner truth, a consciousness virus you could call it, that distorts truth and makes people want to steal energy from others by abusing them. Influential people and others down the line. If somebody is not connected to their inner core, to their connection to their inner truth, they believe they have to steal from others.
My life has been heavily marked by sexual abuse and a SES course from Crimsoncircle
that I attended gave me great insight, clarity, relief and steps for action.
The churches, the military, sports, film industry and other big oranizations are places where sexual and other abuse thrives on many levels. The Me Too is about that.
Our consciousness at this time does not allow abuse around and within us anymore. We are done with it.
And if we want to abolish it, tell the truth, we meet many people who strongly oppose, manipulate and still want to play the old abuser games.
When I feel into what you are sharing, I choose my own clarity, choose it again and again, breathe with it and let it nourish me in my own gut feeling, my truth, my No More!, my sanity and my safety. I wish all the best to you!